20%! You don't just give them 20%!

For full effect, reread the topic title aloud while doing your best George Costanza impression.

So I ran across the folowing article on MSN: http://men.msn.com/articlees.aspx?cp-documentid=6273622. It's entitled "Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman". I scanned down the list and came across this gem: "Tip less than 20%". I was outraged. This was an overreaction, but it's beside the point and I'll get to that later. I bring this up with my buddy Greg, a friend of the blog. He says he always tips 20%. Many of his friends do too. Apparently, 20% is the new 15%. I tell him this is ridiculous. 15% is a standard tip for ordinary service; 20% is for excellent service.

I knew Greg couldn't be right. How did I know this? Because I've been at restaurants all the time that apply an automatic gratuity of 18% if the party is 6 or more people. Since a party of 6 or more is obviously more trouble for a waiter/waitress, logically it should follow that a less than 18% tip is perfectly acceptable for smaller parties. Sometimes logic just isn't good enough for people, so I set out to settle this debate the best way I knew how:

Wikipedia.

And here's what the Big W came up with:

"Today 15 to 20 % (before tax for good to excellent service) is apparently now the norm. According to Fodor's: At restaurants, a 15% tip is typical for waiters; up to 20% may be expected by some waiters at more expensive establishments.
Many restaurants include a tip at 18% or more on the bill for groups of 6 or more guests."

Seems like game, set, match to me. But Greg takes the first sentence to include 20% as part of the norm. This is true enough, but he ignores the fact that the big W clearly says that 15% is still a normal tip, and more importanly ignores context. To me, it's clear that in the context of those three sentences, 20% could be the norm at fancier restaurants or for excellent service, but 15% is still the standard for normal service at your run of the mill diner, pizzeria, or Friday's.

Still a little irked that I have not definitively won the debate, I turn to the best conglomerate of useless knowledge I know: Teh Vesti. By this time, I had given the topic of tipping etiquette considerable thought, and revised by initial definition of what constitutes a standard tip. 15% is still the default, but several circumstances could warrant a higher tip. 16-19% is for good service (with 18% often being the default for large groups). 20% and up is for excellent service, fancy restaurants, or if you're trying to impress a woman.

This is why I say I initially overreacted to the MSN article. I still think the article is wrong, because it talks in absolutes. It says you should never let a woman see you tip less than 20%. This is just flat out wrong. If you're dining with a girl you've been dating for a while, or friends, family or coworkers, the normal rules of tipping should apply. But if you're just starting to date a woman, it's probably a good idea not to skimp on the tip. So I gave my revised idea of tipping etiquette to the vesti. I admit this was a bit unfair to Greg because I didn't give him a chance to rebut my modified theory. But I don't feel too bad, because he was contending that 20% had become the standard tip, and I was still contending that this notion was preposterous. You can see the results for yourself here: http://boards.ign.com/Message.aspx?topic=164941578&brd=5296&replies=23. Most people's conception seemed to be more in line with mine, but a few people did agree with Greg.

I haven't gotten a concession call from Greg yet, but I'm preemptively giving myself a win in the first ever Blog Wars.

BigMike 1, Greg 0.

O, and Crazy, I know how you might be tempted to respond, but those jokes are just too easy and beneath what I want this blog to be.